Category Archives: Infidelity

Harvey Weinstein and the 1980s Wandering Hands Era

A Washington Post report by Monica Hesse and Dan Zak alleges systemic sexual assault by movie executive Harvey Weinstein dating back to the 1980s. It reminded me of attitudes towards women that were prevalent when I was working in the media at that time. Certain men I worked with in the BBC in Britain in the early 1980s were known for having what we girls described as “wandering hands syndrome.” Continue reading Harvey Weinstein and the 1980s Wandering Hands Era

Valentine’s Day: Horrible Holiday for Cheaters’ Wives

Skedonk, WIkimedia Commons

You can’t get away from all the paraphernalia about love and romance on Valentine’s Day. If you know your partner is cheating, this holiday will bring up all kinds of negative feelings whether or not he does anything to celebrate the day with you. In some ways the slimebag is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. Continue reading Valentine’s Day: Horrible Holiday for Cheaters’ Wives

Choose a Spouse Like You’d Choose a Tenant

Asset Stripping

Most people would screen prospective tenants or employees more rigorously than a potential spouse. A landlord will want to ensure that a tenant has good credit and is going to pay the rent. Business owners will look at a person’s employment history to decide whether or hire him or her. But doing a background check on a potential mate? Isn’t that rather tacky and unromantic?

Continue reading Choose a Spouse Like You’d Choose a Tenant

The Mistress: Villain or Victim?


Society likes to paint the mistress as an immoral floozy or a scarlet woman. She is the evil villain trying to pry that hapless, helpless husband away from his lawfully wedded wife. Yet some might believe that the mistress herself is being victimized in some respects. Continue reading The Mistress: Villain or Victim?

12 Christmas Gifts for a Cheating Ex

I’m being horribly hypocritical writing this list of 12 gifts to mock the man in your life who has let you down. The mantra of my book, Adulterer’s Wife: How to Thrive Whether You Stay or Not is that revenge is not sweet and the best revenge is to get past the need for it. But I’m not recommending smashing his prized Ming vase or shooting him in the nuts—just some gently sardonic humor at his expense. Continue reading 12 Christmas Gifts for a Cheating Ex

Is He Addicted to Sex with the Other Woman?

An affair has none of the dreary baggage endemic in a long-term relationship. You can devote your time together to sex and romance rather than dealing with the kids or talking about taxes. There’s the excitement of secrecy and stolen moments together. You can indulge in wanton passion as you take a break from the real world, in a bubble that only you and your lover inhabit. Continue reading Is He Addicted to Sex with the Other Woman?

Should Horndog Trump Be President?

Vulgar remarks are not enough to turn me away from voting for Donald Trump. More disturbing to me are his business decisions, political naïveté and policies that seem to invite domestic and international disaster. If I felt he would make a good president, I would vote for him, despite the lewd video from 2005 of his private comments that has just been released by the Washington Post. Continue reading Should Horndog Trump Be President?

Ridiculous Revenge: Going Nuts over Infidelity

Clearly it’s a major shock to discover your dearly beloved’s infidelity. However some folks have compounded the awfulness of their situation by reacting in such an extreme fashion that they face prosecution for what they’ve done to get back at their philandering partners. Continue reading Ridiculous Revenge: Going Nuts over Infidelity

Multiple Lovers & Tantric Sex: Quantity vs Quality

Indian rajas were renowned for having thousands of lovers and their pick of the most beautiful women. These rajas and many of their partners were extensively trained in advanced Tantric sex techniques. Yet despite this, according to some of the ancient literature of the time, Indian princes and monarchs often complained that the sex was lackluster and unsatisfying. Continue reading Multiple Lovers & Tantric Sex: Quantity vs Quality

Cheating Husbands: Demons or Studly Heroes?

Men and women tend to have different views about married guys who bed a lot of other women. If an old goat is managing to attract a pretty young thing half his age, many men will admire his prowess and wish that they could do the same thing. Continue reading Cheating Husbands: Demons or Studly Heroes?

Fidelity Dating vs Ashley Madison

“Life is short. Have an affair.” That’s the slogan of the extramarital dating site ashleymadison.com. No—scratch that. Be faithful. Fidelitydating.com is a dating site launched in January 2015. It tells potential members: “By signing up you agree you are not in a relationship. You will be honest and faithful. The catchphrase is: “Love is precious—be faithful.” Continue reading Fidelity Dating vs Ashley Madison

How Adulterers’ Wives Celebrate Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be a depressing time for wives with cheating partners. The family may come together, but celebrations can have a bittersweet flavor. It won’t be like it was before infidelity reared its ugly head. You are unlikely to feel secure in the unwavering love and support of the father of your kids. If you and your husband have already split, maybe your kids will take you to a restaurant, but you might wistfully notice all the intact families around you celebrating at the other tables.

Continue reading How Adulterers’ Wives Celebrate Mother’s Day

Robin Williams Tunnel of Love

Edward Betts, Wikimedia Commons

I had a bittersweet moment seeing the “Robin Williams Tunnel” sign at the tunnel just before crossing the Golden Gate Bridge to enter San Francisco. I’d been away for some time. It had formerly been known as the Waldo Tunnel, after a 19th century politician most people have never heard of. The new name commemorated a brilliant comedian and much loved Bay Area resident, who ended his life by suicide. Continue reading Robin Williams Tunnel of Love

Revenge Is Not Sweet

In the movies, revenge is sweet. In real life, that’s not necessarily the case. The desire for revenge can be a very toxic emotion that keeps you bound to all the negative effects you’ve suffered from his infidelity. Seeking vengeance can lead to endless hatred and bitterness—it never brings back what you have lost. Continue reading Revenge Is Not Sweet

Caught Cheating? Marital Damage Control for Dunces

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Men often react in the dumbest way when their wives catch them cheating. You’d think they deliberately want to end their marriages, but more often than not, that isn’t the case. Unlike most of this website, I’m writing this page specifically for men, although my advice is equally applicable if you’re an adulterous wife caught cheating. So listen up, philandering husbands! Unless you’re absolutely sure you want to dump your wife and deal with most likely an acrimonious, expensive divorce, you need to invest your time in some serious damage control. Here are ten points to consider. Perhaps they’ll help you to salvage your marriage. Continue reading Caught Cheating? Marital Damage Control for Dunces

It’s AdulterersWife.com not AdulterousWife.com, dammit!

I never realized that AdulterersWife.com would be a difficult website for people to remember or spell. I told a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, about my site, emphasizing that it was geared towards women who were married to adulterers. She said that the URL I gave her was a porn site. Continue reading It’s AdulterersWife.com not AdulterousWife.com, dammit!